Thoughts From the Bell Jar

I like thinking about this sentiment, both the original and the one about how we remember things being important:

Doesn’t Deleuze somewhere say that “there’s nothing more distressing than ideas that slip away half-formed and unarticulated”? That’s how I remember the quote; and the way we remember things is often what’s most important…

It reminds me of that feeling one has- well, I have it anyway- being close to remembering something, but it is like a shadow, and focusing on it doesn’t help it become fully formed, and sometimes one isn’t even sure what one is trying to remember… but it holds us in an unsettling way sometimes…  Since I didn’t remember the original sentiment quite like this, that made me need to hunt it down. “Nothing is more distressing than a thought that escapes itself, than ideas that fly off, that disappear hardly formed, already eroded by forgetfulness or precipitated into others that we no longer master…” (What is Philosophy, 201) but my brain linked it tightly to this following idea, “This is the instant of which we do not know whether it is too long or too short for time.” (ibid)
It is freeing, the way in which thoughts can free us from ourselves, just by being forgetful.

Larval Subjects .

the_bell_jar_by_kimded-d3cf4xqSo I haven’t been writing much lately.  Have I been busy?  Always, but not as busy as I should be.  Have I been sick of dealing with people online?  Sure.  We’re a pretty wretched, awful species, especially in a cool medium such as this.  Have I been in the “bell jar”?  Maybe a little.  My hope is that I’m like a fallow field.  I’m sure y’all learned about it in your highschool history classes.  Rotate the crops on a three year cycle and allow certain fields to lie fallow so that they might replenish their nutrients.  It was one of the great revolutions of the middle ages, as I recall.  Well, when I grow dry– and so much of my sense of self-value is tied up with whether or not I’m writing so I find the blank page deeply traumatic –I like to think that maybe I’m just fallow, that…

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